My service dog Tessa passed away completely unexpectedly from hemangiosarcoma. One day she wasn’t eating and I scheduled a vet appointment, the next I woke up to find she’d passed away in the night. I cannot express into words the despair and loss I felt. That day I lost my best friend, my daily partner, a family member. I need a new service dog because I lost my independence that day.

I was incredibly blessed to have Tessa in my life. I’ve always loved animals and training, horseback riding was the best physical therapy I’ve experienced for my muscles. Tessa came into my life as my pet and I immediately threw myself into her training, having signed up for classes before I brought her home. She was my constant companion, a “velcro dog”. As my health declined, she initially started helping me on her own. She was always there, so when I became off balance due to dizziness or a joint gave out sometimes I could steady myself with her to prevent a fall. When I fell, I could use her to ease myself to the ground to prevent more injury. Then I was able to use her to help get back up and steady myself. At the time I didn’t know much about service dogs, so I threw myself into research the way I’d thrown myself into training as a hobby. Service dog training is broken down into obedience, public access training, and tasks that mitigate the handlers disability. Having been involved in advanced obedience and taking Tessa everywhere that was pet friendly put her off at a great start. But most of all, she had what it takes to be a service dog. This is something a dog is born with, and cannot be trained.

I was lucky enough to find a local organization that’s experienced in training service dogs to help me along. They evaluated Tessa and opened up their training program to us. I learned how to turn her natural helpful behaviors into reliable tasks. How to teach her to do things like pick up items I’d dropped, go retrieve an item for me, turn lights in a room on and off. I started gaining back things I’d been slowly losing, being able to do more around the house and get out of the house more. I was able to go out shopping alone with Tessa, and not rely on a friend or roommate to accompany me. I wasn’t afraid of getting stranded in public and not able to get home, I had more energy and less pain because of the load she took over for me. As my disability progressed, she learned new things to help my changing needs.

Since Tessa passed away, its been a constant struggle. I FEEL disabled. I hate depending on people for assistance, and now I have no choice. I had planned for my next service dog in the event of her retirement, but I thought I had years to work with. Life is unpredictable. I was working on training who I hoped would be my next service dog, but unlike Tessa she didn’t have what it takes. Emma was washed out as a service dog in training and will remain with me as a pet. During Emma’s training I struggled, and when I had to make the decision to wash her out I also had to make the difficult decision that I no longer could reliably owner train my next service dog. This left me with finding an organization that would meet my needs and my lifestyle (for example, many programs will not place a dog with a pet dog in the home, and I could not give up Emma.) Luckily I’d begun this search before Tessa passed away. While I continued to contact organizations and see what else was out there for a while, I always ended back at an organization that was started by a woman I’d met through service dog advocacy work. Quad Cities Canine Assistant Network. http://www.qccan.org/